The overpowering necessity to create, create, create.
I always knew I wanted to include a blog within my website for the obvious reasons of sharing inspirational stories, beauty guides, how to’s, etc. Yet, when I thought about actually sitting down and writing, I kept feeling stumped. I had brain stormed endless topics to share, but something was stopping me from sharing anything at all.
I was in Frisco, Colorado during this “stumped” period, I was having an intimate conversation at dinner with a business mentor of mine and she stopped and asked me, “Why haven’t you just started?” Being put on the spot I answered with the reply that came instantly to mind, “Have you ever been afraid of success?” I went on to explain that if I started writing blogs I knew I would have to stay consistent in order to hold up to my own standards (I have always been a believer of not starting anything unless you’re 100 % committed). I further explained that in my life’s experience, I had found that with more success comes more responsibility, and that that discovery was the reason why I had drawn my conclusion to not pick up writing quite yet: it was too large of a commitment, whether or not it became successful.
Little to my surprise that response was very incorrect. A few weeks later I was reading an article about artists and their common relation with (HPS) highly sensitive person. In the article, I came across an incredibly resonating quote from Pulitzer and Nobel Prize winner, Pearl S. Buck:
“The truly creative mind in any field is no more than this:
A human creature born abnormally, inhumanly sensitive.
To him… A touch is a blow,
A sound is a noise,
A misfortune is a tragedy,
A joy is an ecstasy,
A friend is a lover,
A lover is a god,
And failure is death.
Add to this cruelly delicate organism the overpowering necessity to create, create, create… So that without the creating of music or poetry or books or buildings or something of meaning, his very breath is cut off from him. He must create, must pour out creation. By some strange, unknown, inward urgency he is not really alive unless he is creating.”
There was a definite relatability with the “overpowering necessity to create, create, create.” But true resonation and realization came with the line “…failure is death.” It was almost as if a switch, previously untouched, had been turned on in my mind: I had put off writing not because the fear of success but because of the fear of failure! I knew I had passionate feelings, thoughts, and stories about my career and wanted to put them into words! I knew I wanted share them with others in hopes of reiterating my actual feelings of the experiences so all could feel the heart behind them!
I have always thought after you figure out the “whys” of something, half the battle has already been won, and I had won that half of the particular battle! With my stubborn Taurus personality the last thing I was going to do was lose the latter half and let fear win!
So, here I am, ready to share my experiences, my inspirations, my creations, my knowledge, my stories, and my occasional whit. May you in turn walk away feeling fulfilled and enlightened, ready to take on the world in whichever way you do so!